One#
Formalism again.#
Life is actually meaningless, year after year.
Only summarize everything in my limited memory of 2023 with this article.
If I have to say what has changed compared to 2022, my first reaction is that nothing has changed, everything remains the same.
The desk is still a mess, and the books on the desk are still unopened.
But if I think about it carefully, there are still some changes, such as:
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- Gained 20 pounds.
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- No longer have much time to go online on STEAM.
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- Became more diligent in cleaning my own doghouse.
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- Developed an interest in nature and paid more attention to humanities.
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- Went on a trip abroad to Japan.
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- Had a 100-day winning streak on Duolingo.
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- Bought many things I wanted.
...
Two#
Memories and some speculations about what happens after death.
I have always believed that memories will disappear, just like me, I have no recollection of things that happened at a certain time.
That's why I have been subscribing to Google membership. I have photos in my album almost every day, whether it's flowers or food and drink. When I see the date the photo was taken, I can accurately remember what happened that day.
So I am quite looking forward to the cyber ascension, where everyone becomes a small dot, on a decentralized platform.
Just like in "The Temple of a Thousand Gods".
If I die in the future, I want to upload my entire life to the internet, the good and the bad, for everyone to enjoy.
Of course, my only condition is to delete my browsing history.
Three#
Writing, reading, and existence.
I counted the number of notes I wrote this year, and there were about 30 in total, including:
- 6 book notes
- 10 technical articles
- 14 essays
Actually, I read quite a few books this year, but with my level of understanding, I can only think about their meanings in a simple way, without forming similar or conflicting opinions. So I didn't take many notes.
I used to think of myself as a typical nihilist, but not so radical, neither full of vitality nor a sense of death. I tend to have an equal attitude towards most things.
Now my creed is cynicism, just enjoying the present is enough.
Seagulls, piers, french fries.
I think I'm just a lazy dog who likes to think.
Sartre believed that living is a resistance against nihilism, and indeed, it is ridiculous to be born with a purpose. But this world insists that you find a meaning to live among various reasons. It's nothing more than family/love/wealth.
But death is different, it is the only thing each person can decide for themselves. If being born without a choice is laughable, then choosing to terminate the process is serious.
Just like playing cards, decide whether to play first, then decide how to play.
When facing this question, we all have absolute freedom and the dignity of being born as a human being.
Four#
END
So, what I want to say is
Thank myself for being able to view everything that happens to me with a peaceful mindset, knowing that everything that happens is beneficial to me.
Thank myself for no longer blaming/comparing/negating myself.
Most importantly, thank my family, my colleagues, my work, my girlfriend, and the strangers I chat with, thank everyone and everything related to me.
Many things happened this year, but I still remain optimistic and believe in the positive power of every individual.
The world may be in a shabby state, but I believe there are still many fascinating aspects after mending and patching.
I want to remind myself not to be impatient, take things slowly, and if I feel tired, take a break. Don't compete, and don't forget to be myself.
At the same time, I remind myself to cherish every moment.
In the new year, I hope to improve my skills, learn how to be a better person, and go to more places.
Face the upcoming life with a more humble attitude, regardless of joy or sorrow.
Finally, at the end, I am most grateful to my girlfriend, who brings vitality to my dull life. Thank you very much.